==============================  CFJ 2549  ==============================

    zeckalpha is a Player.

========================================================================

Caller:                                 Wooble

Judge:                                  G.
Judgement:                              TRUE

========================================================================

History:

Called by Wooble:                       30 May 2009 12:55:55 GMT
Assigned to G.:                         06 Jun 2009 06:40:18 GMT
Judged TRUE by G.:                      07 Jun 2009 03:10:02 GMT

========================================================================

Caller's Evidence:

On Sat, May 30, 2009 at 2:31 AM, Kyle Marek-Spartz <zeckalpha@gmail.com>
wrote:
> zeckalpha is to be registered.

========================================================================

Judge G.'s Arguments:

This Court would like to introduce Agora to an individual who is the
theoretical antithesis of the Reasonable Observer:  please say hello
to that useful but much-maligned entity: the Moron in a Hurry.

As first described by Mr. Justice Foster in Morning Star Co-Operative
Society Ltd. v. Express Newspapers Ltd. Morning Star[1], the "moron"
demonstrates a simple principle applied to matters of confusion of
ambiguity: simply, if an alleged ambiguity would only confuse a moron in
a hurry, then it is not in fact ambiguous; it is not the responsibility
of the court to reduce discourse to the level of rushing idiots.

In this situation, only a moron in a hurry would not understand the
grammatical construction used in the message to be a trivial assertion
that the player in question registers.  TRUE.

[1 1979 FSR 113] The case in question was brought by a community
broadsheet with a circulation of 21,000 "sold by left-wing persons in
the factory or at the factory gate" against a tabloid with a circulation
of 3.7 million and featuring "startlingly large headlines and pictures
of nearly nude models."  In stating that only the aforementioned moron
would be confused, it was clear, as later noted in The Times[2], that
Mr. Justice Foster of the Court of Chancery was "clearly a man who could
tell at a glance the difference between the Dnepropetrovsk Dam and a
pair of titties."

[2] Jeffrey Miller (2003) "Where There's Life, There's Lawsuits".

========================================================================